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Main character mentality and romanticizing your life

[If you prefer listening over reading, the second episode on my podcast touches on all of this and goes more in depth.]

Okay, what is romanticizing your life, and what does it mean to have a main character mentality?

I like to look at it like a mindset shift, where you’re in control of the narrative of your life, and you’re not just watching your life happen to you, but you’re taking control and rewriting the script. You’re kind of getting outside of yourself and realizing that you can make this character you’re playing into whatever you want it to be. 

When you “romanticize your life,” I believe you’re getting closer to seeing things for what they truly are. You’ll begin to see the beauty in the otherwise ordinary. Then When you start imagining the life that you want, you begin to step into the person you’re required to be in order to fulfill that vision.

So it starts with a mindset shift, and then it’s followed by minor adjustments that you need to make to make that lifestyle a possibility. It may seem like a lot but take a look at someone whose lifestyle is appealing to you. Look at how they view their life. The chances are they live a life of gratitude and love. Not to say they don’t go through tough times, but overall the way they choose to move through life will be very specific. 

Some of the things that I do to romanticize my life- 

  •  Looking out the car window and pretending I’m in a music video may sound silly, but I’ve been doing it ever since I was little, and it’s just so fun to me. 
  •  Dressing up & going to my favorite cafe, like literally fixing my hair a little bit and putting on a cute outfit and walk in there and having an experience as if I’m acting in a movie. 
  •  Being adventurous and spontaneous 
  • Having cute picnics with bae, like maybe I saw a cute picnic or made me think of someone, and I go and recreate that experience with that person. 

Because of media, we expect moments in our lives to feel a lot bigger than they are, but it’s the small moments added up that create our life. If you can’t appreciate the moments as they pass you, you’re always going to feel unfulfilled. 

So If I told you that your life was a movie and that you’re the star, and you could either read the script that was handed to you or write your own story, what would you choose to do? 

It really used to bother me when I would hear people say that you are responsible for their own happiness, even while being hurt by others. It made me feel like it was a cop-out to not hold someone accountable for hurting people. But I realized that you can’t change anyone, it’s not to say that nobody can change, but it’s not your job to change anyone. Once you stop trying to change others and realize your own potential, you will put all of that energy towards creating the best version of yourself and won’t have time for what other people are doing. 

I was listening to an interview with Brené Brown ( which you’re going to hear me reference a lot because I’m obsessed with her). She said that this world is tough because we shame and diminish ordinary lives & just chase extraordinary moments.

Many people may believe that romanticizing your life means creating a life that is the opposite of who you are. I think it’s actually quite the opposite. It’s actually doing what you love and focusing on what you have and what you want your life to look and feel like and really just making that happen instead of what you don’t want it to look like. Or repeating the same behaviors that result in your misery. Like you can’t be living in a drama if you’re dreaming of a rom-com. You’re the only person that can get yourself out of that. A big part in creating the life that you want is realizing that it’s not always going to be comfortable, but if you want a specific outcome, you need to open the doors to let that in.

So I broke it down into 3 steps.

Step 1: It’s time to be honest with yourself- Some people talk about the first step being acceptance and acknowledgment. This one is all about accountability, diving deep into yourself, analyzing your behaviors, and not only how they impact you but also how they impact those around you. Okay? 

Step 2: After identifying your areas of opportunity, you create the will of what it is you actually want. Create with no limit, like your dreaming big here. Then Visualize the solution and the steps you need to take to make that come true. 

Step 3: Now that you drew out a blueprint for your ideal life. You cannot allow your fears to stop you from taking that first step in the right direction. So if you want to live in a rom-com, but you’re stuck in a drama, you need to let go of whatever beliefs are holding you back. 

Share this plan with someone you love or trust and hold each other accountable. This is a journey you will have to take on your own because every experience is an opportunity to view your life through a specific lens. 

I hope this helped and provided valuable takeaways for you.

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