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PRACTICING SELF LOVE

Self love talk can oftentimes feel cliche & generic. It’s always with the good intention of being inspirational, but can leave you wondering, “But how can I actually get there?”. We are diving deeper into the topic by giving you daily questions to consider and practical tips to start your self love journey. We provided things you can actually do everyday in order to notice growth over time, rather than only discussing why it is important. Just remember: The path to self love isn’t linear; it is something we have to actively work on each day, but it is so worth it! 

 

If self love is difficult for you, use this as a starting point to say daily affirmations, retrain your thoughts, and reframe your perspective. Self love is one of the most important things we can work on. It sounds totally cliche, we know, but it’s so true!  Loving yourself changes everything and improves your life in so many ways.

 

Not loving ourselves is extremely normalized and is what we grew up seeing in daily life. Everyone around us self-deprecates, hates their appearance, doubts their abilities, and worries about what other people think. It takes lots of work to unlearn all of it.

 

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

 

+ Why shouldn’t we like ourselves? 

 

+ Why does it feel weird to compliment ourselves, especially around others? (It always feels like we are conceited or narcissistic if we do, right?) 

 

+ Why do we automatically hate something about ourselves that isn’t the standard in the media? 

 

+ We say it would be better and we’d be happier if we looked like someone else or had different features, but why? (Who decided this?) 

 

+ Have you ever thought about getting plastic surgery or filler to make you happy? (We are 100% not judging if you have, we have too!)

 

+ Will this actually make you happy & make you genuinely love yourself fully, or is it more to please others & fit in? (We often think it’s for ourselves, we may even be truly convinced it is, but deep, deep down it typically isn’t)

 

+ When you are in the middle of crying laughing with loved ones, are you thinking about your body or how your side profile looks? (If you said yes, just think about your happiest moments when you have forgotten about superficial things, even if it was just for a second. You’re probably more insecure in public around people who you don’t really know or care about.)

 

+ When you are around loved ones, are you criticizing their features or are you thinking about how much you love them and how you wish they could love themselves? (Just like we wish they could see themselves the way we do, they also want the same for us.)

 

We aren’t trying to interrogate you, but looking deeper into these things is the first step to really changing the way we view ourselves. Many MENA women, for example, have a tendency to compare themselves to western ideals. It is taught from early on in our lives to want to change our appearance, our mannerisms, the way we talk, and how we act in order to please others and fit in. 

 

We aren’t trying to say that you can’t change yourself, you are your own person and can do whatever you want with your life/body. We just want you to really dive into why you do and why it is normal to want this. You can change things and still love yourself, but make sure that you aren’t relying on that to make you happy with who you are. Loving yourself, or at least working on it, should come first.

 

WHAT TO PRACTICE & REMIND YOURSELF DAILY:

 

+ Try not to rely on others for validation & confidence boosts. You are with yourself 24/7, so your own opinion is the only one that matters.

 

+ Compliment yourself daily & Be Your #1 Fan. Write down all the things you love about yourself, both physically and internally. You can even write them in your notes app & make it a widget on your phone so you can always see it. There are no rules, so add whatever comes to mind. We always pick the most random things to hate on, instead we should find all the little things we love. Here is an example of a compliments/hype list:

 

  • Ask yourself these questions:

++ I am a patient person. I am very clever. I am really funny. (Put all the qualities that apply to you, place them in their own bullet, and be specific so you can hype yourself up!).

++ I am kind & compassionate.

++ I am smart & open minded.

++ I am bilingual, which is really cool. (if you are bilingual, even if you understand and don’t speak it, don’t overlook this because it is so awesome, write it down!).

++ I am strong & creative, which means I can handle anything. (Or maybe you’re more analytical, that’s awesome too so add it!).

++ I am good at cooking [insert whatever thing you’re good at.] If you have trouble acknowledging your talent think of what people come to you for. What do you find people asking your opinion or input for or complimenting you on?

++ I know a lot about astrology [insert your topic here], probably more than the average person. (Everyone has a niche topic that they know a lot about, it can literally be anything, even if it seems  random)

++ I love my round eyes [insert your fav features here], they are just like my dad’s which makes them very special. (Try to be as specific as possible; if you have almond, downturned, smaller eyes, etc. write it down because it is unique to you; also  mention why they are great!). 

++ My nose [insert an insecurity here] is unique to me & my culture, it is distinct & makes me who I am. (Self love can start with simply accepting things for what they are, you don’t have to love every feature, especially not right away. First step, just acknowledge it without self deprecating & maybe try to add why it shouldn’t be hated). 

+ Avoid Putting Yourself Down. It’s a habit to self deprecate when we mess up or forget things; instead make it a habit to praise yourself for doing things right. We guarantee you do more right than wrong, you just don’t notice it since it’s a habit to only point out the negatives.

+ Know your worth & Raise your standards. Tell yourself that you deserve & are worthy of good things and that you will not settle for anything less.

+ Do NOT let people mistreat you or bring you down.  CUT OUT TOXIC PEOPLE.  It’s hard to do, especially with family, but work on slowly taking them out of your life or seeing them as little as possible. Just know, they are probably insecure and don’t love themselves. Only people who hate themselves or may have endured trauma, bring others down. 

+ Self love isn’t a linear journey. There may be times where you feel like you’ve been set back. Just remember that this is part of growth and we all have our moments of feeling down on ourselves. As long as you continue to actively choose to love and care for yourself then it will make all the difference.


Over time growing the love you have for yourself will change the way you feel and perceive the world around you. You will be a much more positive person overall and others will feel the positivity you radiate. This could even rub off on the people around you and they may start to take in the positivity and love for themselves. Be the influence you might not have had around you & work to unlearn the toxic idea that self hate is normal and something to live with. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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